


Mixed Feelings

by switchbladesandstreetsigns



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comfort?, Drabble/One-shot, Gen, light angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 04:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9476654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/switchbladesandstreetsigns/pseuds/switchbladesandstreetsigns
Summary: "I think what you're feeling is regret."





	

When Shinra broke the news, Shizuo felt nothing. No joy, no anger, no sadness, nothing. At first, he didn't even believe Shinra, but when Celty confirmed it, he knew it wasn't a joke. They had sat in silence for what felt like hours until Shinra finally broke it.

"Shizuo?" he questioned softly. "Are you okay?" His voice was filled with concern for his friend, one of the only he had left.

Shizuo shook his head helplessly, murmuring, "I don't know."

Celty sat next to her friend, placing a comforting hand on his leg. Shizuo had always been unpredictable, but she hadn't expected him to react like this. She expected him to be happy  _that the pest was gone._ But she had to admit, even if he was a troublesome pain in the neck, she wouldn't wish  _death_ upon him.

Shizuo sat up straight and gazed at the ceiling. He sighed deeply, a sad smile forming, then melting into nothing. He was confused. How was he supposed to feel? It was so sudden and unexpected.

"Was it quick?" he finally asked, voice little more than a whisper. He looked directly at Shinra, eyes troubled.

"Yes. I don't think he felt anything," Shinra answered solemnly.

"Good," Shizuo mumured, more to himself than anyone else. "You know," he started, voice a bit clearer. "I thought I would be happy the day he disappeared." He had a strange look on his face, an expression that perhaps showed a bit of fondness. "But it will be strange not having the little bastard bouncing around all the time. I mean, yeah, we didn't get along, but it's so routine at this point. You guys know what I mean, right?" He turned to Shinra and Celty.

They both nodded. Celty typed up a message and showed it to him.

_"I kinda feel the same. I didn't really like him, but it just won't be the same without him."_

"Yeah. I dunno. I guess- I always said I was going to kill him, but I never thought- I never thought that one day he wouldn't be there to pester me or to ruin someone's day. His annoying voice with his stupid smirk." Shizuo trailed off, absently staring out the window.

"I agree," Shinra added. "I never actually thought that the day where I wouldn't have to patch him up after fighting with you would come."

Not paying Shinra much mind, Shizuo continued to ramble. "Maybe he and I weren't so different after all. I mean, he seemed awfully lonely, and, yeah, I have friends, but- I dunno." He paused for a moment, seemingly unsure what to say, then went on to ask, "What do you guys think it would've been like had we gotten along?"

_"That's kind of a scary thought,"_  Celty typed, imagining the things the two of them could accomplish if they worked together. Shinra nodded his agreement.

"Ya know, there's a part of me that kinda wishes I would've tried to get to know him better, to try to understand him," Shizuo admitted. "Maybe we wouldn't have fought so much. I mean, a lot of people assume things about  _me_ , which isn't very fair, yet I still did it to  _him._ Makes me kind of a hypocrite, huh?"

"Shizuo," Shinra interjected. "I think what you're feeling is regret."

Shizuo looked at him thoughtfully. He didn't argue.

"You might be right," he said. "Sure, he was a pest, and, yeah, he did some shitty things, but... maybe he was trying to get my attention. Or at least  _someone's_ attention."

"It's possible," Shinra agreed. "If you want, the funeral is three days from now, you could come with us," he offered.

"...Yeah. Yeah, that'd be nice," Shizuo said, nodding. "Maybe I can at least apologize for not giving him a chance. At least for your sake, Shinra, since you intorduced us and wanted us to be friends." He fell silent for a minute before adding, "I never thought I'd say this, but I think I might actually kinda miss him."

Just then, two slender arms wrapped around Shizuo from around the back of the couch. A familiar voice filled his ears.

"Awe, you would miss me?"

"Flea!" Shizuo hollered, whipping around to see the bastard hopping back, playful smirk and all. "The hell kind of bullshit is this?!"

"Shizu-chan, did you really think I would die that easily?" Izaya tilted his head to the side in a pitying manner.

Shizuo gritted his teeth. And he wasn't the only one stunned. Celty looked from Izaya, to Shizuo, to Shinra, and stopped there. Shinra looked suspicious, like he was trying to contain his laughter.

_"Did you know about this?!"_ She practically threw the phone at him.

"I'm sorry, Celty!" Shinra wailed, also bringing Shizuo's attention to him. "It was- he- I just- please don't hurt me!"

He was already being lifted off the ground by his lab coat. Shizuo's face was threateningly close to his own, jaw clenched in anger.

"Now, now, Shizu-chan, don't be like that. It was my idea," Izaya chimed in. He daringly put his hand on Shizuo's arm, urging him to lower their begging mess of a friend. "I just wanted to prove to everyone that deep down, you love me," he teased.

Shizuo shook him off and dropped Shinra. He turned and scowled at Izaya, only to be met with an innocent grin.

"Don't glare at me like that. Think about it, now you can get to know me like you said you wanted to," Izaya said, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Shut up." Shizuo huffed and sat back down. Izaya had the audacity to sit  _right next to him._

"Maybe we can be friends~"

Shizuo groaned inwardly. Now he really _was_  feeling regret.

 

 

Maybe.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I've ever posted. I'm actually quite proud of it, and I hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is greatly appreciated so I can continue to improve my works.


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